The internet is full of cringy hashtags right now. I get it. They’re trendy, they are useful for spreading your message and building your audience. But many of them are also annoying as #youknowhat.
#blessed, #thestruggleisreal, #onfleek, #nofilter, #dreamteam
Some of the most annoying are fitness-related hashtags, such as
#doyouevenliftbro, #quadsquad, #cleaneating, #fitspo, #nodaysoff
But the worst of the worst, the granddaddy of the cringe-worthy hashtags has got to be…
#myhusbandisbetterthanyours
Here are my thoughts on why this hashtag (or as my mom calls them, trashtags) should be permanently retired.
Marriage is not a competition. Yea, it really isn’t. Neither is any relationship. So why do we feel the need to turn marriage, relationships, freaking everything into competitions with one another? The #myhusbandisbetterthanyours hashtag is just a an example of how social media has become this strange world in which we all feel the need to one-up each other. In everything. My kids are better than yours. My house is better. My life is better… snooze….
Look, I’m happy for you! Congratulations on your amazing everything. Be thankful that you’re #blessed, share it with the world. But to use a hashtag like #myhusbandisbetterthanyours really seems… petty. I get it, you love your man, he’s your superhero. So say that instead. #myhusbandisarockstar, #myhusbandisastud, #myhusbandismyhero… etc. But to feel the need to suggest that your husband is better than someone else’s is just silly. Plus…
It’s probably not true. Let us be real. Your dude may be a superdad or a stud at fixing cars and grilling, but he’s probably not the best ever. And if we were to come up with an objective way to measure the bestness of husbandry, your dude probably wouldn’t actually be better than every other hubby on the planet. What he should be is the best for you. That’s what really matters, right? That your dude makes you happy, that he’s a wonderful partner to you, that he’s a superdad to your children. How your husband stacks up against any other husbands in the universe is simply irrelevant. He’s perfect for you, but he probably wouldn’t be perfect for the other women who are reading your #myhusbandisbetterthanyours post.
It’s image management, and that’s kind of goofy. This is one of my biggest beefs with social media – it’s become an image management tool… marketing tools to sell (convince) followers of our flawless and enviable lives. It’s not real. I repeat: representations on social media are just that – representations. Am I going to post pictures of myself, first thing in the morning, before coffee, in my ratty-ass stained t-shirt with a big zit on my face? You can bet your sweet ass that I will not. But by NOT posting a pic of me with my monthly PMS zit (which always pops up in the same spot on my chin, the same pore, I swear), am I being fake? Nah. Because I’m also not posting pics or narratives of a fantasy existence that isn’t real. I think the use of the #myhusbandisbetterthanyours hashtag indicates a need to convince everyone else of how flawless your dude is, but assuming he is indeed human, I’m sure he’s got plenty of imperfections. He probably farts. He’s probably got morning breath. I bet he does a lot of stuff that annoys the absolute shit out of you. He’s not perfect, neither is your life. Nobody’s is.
Dudes need to cut it out, too. Currently, there are over 62,000 posts on Instagram with the #mywifeisbetterthanyours hashtag. But that pales in comparison to the 161,000 posts with the #myhusbandisbetterthanyours hashtag. That’s roughly 223,000 too many.
Ladies, when are we going to STOP with this compulsive need to compete with one another??? For real. Everything isn’t a competition. Strive to find happiness and fulfillment in your own life and stop worrying about how it stacks up against anyone else’s. Women, especially, have got to stop this catty I’m-better-than-you attitude that (whether intentionally or not) pits us against one another. Let’s encourage and love one another, instead. Celebrate one another’s amazing partners and children. Congratulate each other on our new homes or jobs… and quit making it a competition. Someone else’s amazing husband does not make your husband any less amazing. There’s plenty of amazing-ness to go around.
#sisterhood
