F–kboys – not just a 20-something phenomenon

Not too long ago, I was watching a YouTube video titled something like “He might be a F–kboy if.”  I must have been living under a rock because this was a new term for me.  In it, a girl in her early 20s gave a run-down of what a fuckboy is, along with a description of the different behaviors a dude might display if he is, indeed, a fuckboy.  Once we got to this point, I knew what type of guy she was referring to… only my generation identified them more modestly as “players.”  So in this post, I’m going to go over how to identify fuckboys of all ages (because they are not generation-specific).

Let’s begin with where you meet a dude.  If you met him on any type of dating app that involves swiping… he’s probably a fuckboy.  Online dating in general, is a cesspool of fuckboys, so you need to be armed with the ability to recognize them right away.  One way you can identify them is by the effort they put into their messages.  If a dude clearly has not read your profile, or if it’s obvious he’s copied and pasted some grammatical nightmare of a canned message about how beautiful you are and how much the two of you have in common…fuckboy.

Emojis are a good indicator of fuckboys, as well.  Watch out for these:

That’s right.  If every freaking text is peppered with hearts and kissy face emojis, and you haven’t even met the dude… fuckboy.

Now there’s an important difference between older and younger fuckboys, in my experience.  Thanks to the proliferation of hook-up culture, younger fuckboys are pretty obvious about their intentions.  They aren’t likely to try to make you believe they have feelings for you just to get sex because sex has become super easy (thanks to hook-up culture and apps like tinder).  When I say “younger,” I’m referring to guys in their 20s and 30s.  “Older” guys (these categories are just defined, relative to my age), on the other hand, tend to be a bit more old-fashioned. Generally speaking, I think Gen X’ers and Baby Boomers are still more inclined toward romance and courtship than are Millenials and Generation Z’ers.  Thus, even though a dude in his 40s might just be after a hookup, he’s more inclined to use romance or say things he doesn’t really mean (like he’s falling for you) because he’s learned to associate love (or the illusion of it) with sex – women of the same age are more likely to expect some sort of emotional connection before they sleep with someone.  SO, these older fuckboys may say things like “I could really love you,” “I love so much about you,” “I’m really starting to fall for you,” etc. to try to get you in bed.

Regardless of his age, if he suggests the two of you stay in and “chill” or “hang out and watch a movie” at one of your places, and you’ve not been out, or you’ve only been out once or twice… fuckboy.  “Stay in and chill” is code for “get naked.”  Similarly, phrases like “cuddle” and “snuggle” are used to describe sex.  Mike was most definitely a fuckboy, and he tried this the second time we hung out (I just really wanted to believe he was more than that).  At any rate, we were at his place, sitting on the couch and talking when he interrupted me and asked if I wanted to go lay down in bed and cuddle.  Cuddle.  I wanted to cuddle.  Cuddling sounded nice.  But as soon as we laid down, he clearly wanted to have sex.  I should have taken the hint…fuckboy.

Another way you can tell if he’s a fuckboy is if he places all the emphasis on how hot or beautiful you are, and doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about your brains or intelligence.  If you catch him talking about other women’s bodies.. fuckboy.  If his phone is on silent but he’s constantly checking it… fuckboy.  If he can’t keep his attention on you without glancing around at other women… fuckboy.  If he doesn’t want to make plans until the last minute (because likely, he’s holding out to see if a better option becomes available)… fuckboy.

TO be clear, not all guys are fuckboys, and just because a dude does some of the things I mentioned, he’s not necessarily one. But it’s likely 😉