I was driving east around October of last year, cruising through New Mexico with no real plans for what was next, when I heard a song for the first time. It was Randy Houser’s “No stone unturned.” I’ve linked it below if you haven’t heard it.
This song spoke to my soul. It’s about roaming, traveling… being free spirited and in search of yourself. As I drove east, leaving behind my beloved west once more, this line made me tear up…
Well Colorado put me in the clouds. I still don’t think my feet have touched the ground.
The chorus of the song talks about living your life in a way that leaves “no stone unturned” – in this hungry, insatiable search for yourself. Isn’t that what so much of life is about? Figuring out who we are and why we’re here? But maybe it’s easy to become complacent. I think we start to lose that hunger when our bellies are full of the distractions and excess that society thrusts upon us.
I feel like this happens to me. I lose touch. I withdraw…. I pull inside of myself when I try living the status quo. I feel suffocated. And that’s what I was feeling when I wrote my last post declaring a last-minute trip to Colorado. I had an illusion of stuckness. I was becoming trapped in my own mind, feeling depressed and unmotivated. Lost and sad.
I had so much anxiety about leaving. I worried about something going wrong with my rig… and it did. Before I left, I discovered that my hitch needed repaired and there was a leak in the roof that needed fixed. The second day on the road, I was hooked up to shore power in a campground, and my AC stopped working. The next day, I realized my fridge didn’t appear to be cooling off enough. The following day, I blew out a tire on I-70 in Kansas. After having the tires replaced and getting the rig inspected, I learned the the blow out had torn a hole in my floor and mangled my propane lines. Then…. I learned it would take a month to have it fixed.
So basically, my anxiety about shit going wrong on my rig was founded, ha!
But I knew… I knew I had not come this far to turn around and go back with tail between my legs. There was a reason I was drawn back out here, and I needed to find out what it was.
New plan. I rented a vacation condo for a month and dropped the trailer off for repairs. And now I’ve been here for nearly three weeks.
But almost immediately after getting back into these grand mountains, I felt the haze of my mind begin to clear. This place, high up among these peaks, surrounded by some of the most beautiful scenery, happy people, with an incredible quality of life – this is a place that finally feels like home to me.
Over the last decade, I have been repeatedly called back to these mountains. I thought maybe the mountains in the east would suffice… but they’re not the same. Not for me.
This trip has also made me remember how critical spending time in nature is to my balance and peace. I spend hours in front of my computer each day, deeply immersed in a technological world… I must have time away from devices to reconnect. I need time to get lost in the beauty of nature, to let her grandness take my breath away.
I also need to develop the areas of my business I have been talking about doing for years. I would much prefer to manage passive income streams, teach seminars, and hold workshops than to be buried behind journal articles and multiple screens each day. I want more freedom – and I’m aware that a lot of people would scoff at that (as if I don’t already have a shit-ton of freedom), but I want more. More freedom would make my life even better, so I am going to cultivate that.
I feel more connected, more spiritual, more self-aware when I’m out here. I am more balanced. I am inspired to get outside more, to take advantage of everything the state has to offer. To push myself, try new things, meet new people. As cliche’ as it sounds (sorry), I feel like I’m a better version of myself out here. I want my home base to be in Colorado. This would be far more convenient for exploring other parts of the west.
I’ve gotten good at listening to the nudges of the universe. And the nudge to move out here is pretty strong.
So, there’s a lot to think about… but I am excited 🙂
For now, I think I may come back up to elevation for a little while after I get my trailer back, depending on what the weather is doing. It’s Sept 12th and the leaves are just starting to show little hints of yellow here and there. I suspect it will be a late fall this year, which is perfect!
Once it gets too chilly, I will either go west into Utah or south into NM. My plan is to come back to NC by mid-late October, after it cools off and the leaves are turning. If I plan it right, I’ll get about 2.5 months of peak fall 🙂
Colorado puts me in the clouds.